Can One Person Really Fight for Their Marriage? (Part II)

Yes! Have you found yourself in a situation where you feel alone when it comes to your relationship? Many marriages experience difficult seasons where hopelessness and disappointment is clear and present. At times, everyday fights or disagreements or major sinful choices from a spouse have brought doubt and a loss of direction. This leaves a spouse with the need for a solution or anything that would stop the pain.

If you are a spouse who has experienced a similar situation, you need to know that you are not alone. God is with you to lift you up, give you strength, and there to comfort you. He is very interested in your relationship and the way that you approach this season, even without your spouse. There is hope!

John 17:20, 21:“I am not asking on behalf of them alone, but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, as you, Father, are in me, and I am in you. May they also be in us, so that the world may believe that you sent Me”

Reflect & Restructure

This is an excerpt from Jesus' prayer to the Father for all believers and unbelievers. How remarkable that you and I were included in this beautiful prayer of Jesus even before we knew Him!

As you engage in the fight for your marriage, you can pray for what Jesus prayed for, oneness. Begin by focusing on your spouse, “others”, instead or yourself, and align your prayer with Jesus’s prayer. The church and you exist to make Christ known and each one of us is to follow Christ’s example as a disciple, this is how you execute, this is how you fight. It is vital that you understand the magnitude of Jesus' request in His prayer: "I am not asking on behalf of them alone, but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their message." 

It should be highly encouraging when you read the entire prayer of Jesus written in John 17:1-25. Remember, according to Acts 17:26, God did not save you for yourself, but He chose the place and time that where you would live so those who want to find Him can through you. Aligning with Jesus and praying as Jesus did for your marriage is extremely important as you struggle. These are 4 specific ways to pray in alignment with Jesus for your situation.

Pray For:

1)    Their eyes and mind to be opened to the message of Christ.

God is moving and you should be aware that the devil is at work wherever Gods movement is happening and doing everything to disrupt His work. This is evident time and time again in the Old and New Testament; it should not surprise you that it is Satan's plan to stop us from moving in the power and victory of Christ. He is coming after your relationship. Paul wrote about this tactic of the Devil: "In their case, the god of this age has blinded the minds of the unbelievers to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.”  (2 Corinthians 4:4). The main idea here is for your spouse to have a constant awareness that God is with them and for them. This type of awareness can lead them to closeness with God providing an angle to their life, themselves and the marriage that is more insightful.

2)   God to orchestrate the right circumstance that will reveal their need for Jesus.

“They will be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me and that all will then go well for them and for their children after them. I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me so that they will never turn away from me. I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul.” (Jeremiah 32:38-41). God delights when you and your spouse come to the knowledge and faith in Jesus. He will also prepare the right circumstances in both your lives so that you can see the need for Him as the only answer to your problems. God cares about your marriage, and you can rest in the truth that He is moving some pieces around to bring about relationship unity. He wants His son revealed to your spouse on an ongoing basis and wants you and your spouse to depend on Him.

3)   God to provide you with the opportunity to share the full Gospel of Christ with them.

In His great providence, God will place you in positions to share the message of Christ (faith, hope and love) with your spouse. It is an unfortunate truth that when you speak to people about Jesus almost half of them will say something to the effect of "No one ever really told me about Him" ... surprised? Despite your assumptions, you cannot assume that your spouse preaches the Gospel to themselves. Preaching the Gospel includes having full confidence and trust in in God at every moment. Solicit God for an opportunity to use His heart in communication with your spouse. (Colossians 4:3)” And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains.” Ask for the correct words and embrace what He wants you to proclaim and how He wants you to speak redemptively to your spouse.

4)   The person of Jesus to be revealed and/or confirmed to you and your spouse supernaturally.

There are reports of many people in foreign countries coming to the knowledge of Jesus through a dream or a vision. These reports generally come from areas where there's no easy access to bibles or Christians; however, this is happening here in the United States too! Peter confirmed what had been prophesied in Joel 2:28, was now in place through the pouring out of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:14-21). God can show His presence through encounters and dreams to your spouse.

Intentional and dedicated time to prayer in the 4 ways mentioned above, facilitates God’s power and love, let us be ready to share the beautiful and redemptive message of the Gospel with each other! Remember, the Gospel of Christ is SIMPLE and it’s GOOD news!... All it takes is for us to love and care enough for the person in front of us. Ask God to help you hurt for your spouse and help you practice praying how Jesus prayed.

Grace and Peace Be With You,

Dane

Scribe, Marriage Health Check

Co-Founder, preservedinternational.org

Biblical Care Advocate and Counselor

Equipping marriages in God’s active strength, powerandlovemarriage.com